The young man behind the cash register at my local Burger King is clearly going places someday. Not a day over 19, judging from his hesitant but proudly-groomed mustache, he smoothly greets me with a clearly-rehearsed but earnest "Welcome to Burger King, how may I help you this evening?" He's also neither fazed nor perturbed by my presenting the paper coupon entitling me to two dogs and two small fries for $5. Sometimes the coupon-users get the side eye, but this fellow just wants to be efficient and helpful. He hasn't read the fine print making clear that I can only get the regular hot dogs and not the chili-and-cheese versions, since he asks which of the two I want, but let's give him a pass on that one. On a dark and cold March evening in a forlorn and virtually empty BK where nobody else seems to care about their jobs, this guy's fighting the good fight. Until automation takes over and eliminates these positions, they give the enterprising a chance to shine and catch a foothold at the lowest rung on the economy's ladder.
Yea, but About Those Hot Dogs, are they Any Good?
Yea, no. Which is a shame, because we have every reason to expect they would be. If there were any chain that you would imagine would make a good hot dog, it would be Burger King, the chain that invented the Whopper. Despite the insipidness of so much of their menu, like the bland chicken patty sandwich or their recent disaster the "Buttery Cheeseburger" (which is essentially an oblong cheeseburger topped with lots of yellow shredded iceberg lettuce and drizzled with movie-popcorn butter) they have always retained the trump card (can we still use that phrase?) of flame-broiled taste. That taste seems to come and go with various items on their menu; it's strongest in the Whopper and more muted for some inexplicable reason with their other burgers, but at its best a great Burger King item tastes like it was grilled over charcoal in your backyard. Imagine how great it would be to get that flame-broiled taste in a hot dog and you can understand why people might get excited about BK Dogs. And if you look at their marketing materials, it's clear BK is trying to play up that angle. Note the prominent grill marks in the promo shot below.
First Bite, Part 1: The Standard Hot Dog
We tried the regular hot dog first in order to get the best sense of how the hot dog itself tasted, unobscured by chili or cheese. Although the grill marks visible in the promo shot were nowhere visible (see picture below), I did detect a very slight smoky note. But the primary taste was salt. The condiments are applied in the back by staff so you have no control over the quantities of onion, ketchup, or mustard. I'm not a fan of relish, so I had them hold it. But I don't think relish would have made this anything more than it was: an adequate but perfectly ordinary hot dog, for a $1.99 price. We'll come back to that salient point.
First Bite, Part 2: Chili and Cheese Dog
This one was an absolute disaster and there's just no sugar-coating it. The bun itself was tough and dry, indicating that rather than pulling a bun from a steamer drawer and preparing the hot dog fresh as it was ordered, this dog had been pre-assembled and left under a heat lamp for seemingly hours. The chili and cheese had fused together and dried into a tough laquered shell that encased its withered meat tube. The chili was salty and tasteless, without texture, moisture, or spice. We'll head back in a few days to give this one another chance, but this initial taste test isn't remotely promising.
Why Not Just Go to the Convenience Store?
In the end, this is the strongest indictment against the BK Hot Dogs: they don't offer anything that you can't get at your local 7-11 or your average gas station convenience shop for less money. The 7-11 Big Bite is about the same price and gives you a much larger piece of meat, and many gas stations have hot dogs of similar size for about $1.50. And at these other places you have control over how much mustard, onion, cheese, ketchup and chili you want to add. Plus you can guarantee that these are all freshly applied. It's a pretty sad state of affairs when you can construct a better hot dog from components that are sitting around at a self-service bar in a gas station than you can from a dedicated restaurant with a kitchen staff.
Verdict:
BK Hot Dogs are an overhyped, overpriced, poorly executed debacle, a missed opportunity in a myriad of ways.
Yea, but About Those Hot Dogs, are they Any Good?
Yea, no. Which is a shame, because we have every reason to expect they would be. If there were any chain that you would imagine would make a good hot dog, it would be Burger King, the chain that invented the Whopper. Despite the insipidness of so much of their menu, like the bland chicken patty sandwich or their recent disaster the "Buttery Cheeseburger" (which is essentially an oblong cheeseburger topped with lots of yellow shredded iceberg lettuce and drizzled with movie-popcorn butter) they have always retained the trump card (can we still use that phrase?) of flame-broiled taste. That taste seems to come and go with various items on their menu; it's strongest in the Whopper and more muted for some inexplicable reason with their other burgers, but at its best a great Burger King item tastes like it was grilled over charcoal in your backyard. Imagine how great it would be to get that flame-broiled taste in a hot dog and you can understand why people might get excited about BK Dogs. And if you look at their marketing materials, it's clear BK is trying to play up that angle. Note the prominent grill marks in the promo shot below.
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| Plump, Juicy, Smoky Meat Nestled in Fluffy Buns with Top-Flight Condiments. That's the Promise. |
We tried the regular hot dog first in order to get the best sense of how the hot dog itself tasted, unobscured by chili or cheese. Although the grill marks visible in the promo shot were nowhere visible (see picture below), I did detect a very slight smoky note. But the primary taste was salt. The condiments are applied in the back by staff so you have no control over the quantities of onion, ketchup, or mustard. I'm not a fan of relish, so I had them hold it. But I don't think relish would have made this anything more than it was: an adequate but perfectly ordinary hot dog, for a $1.99 price. We'll come back to that salient point.
First Bite, Part 2: Chili and Cheese Dog
This one was an absolute disaster and there's just no sugar-coating it. The bun itself was tough and dry, indicating that rather than pulling a bun from a steamer drawer and preparing the hot dog fresh as it was ordered, this dog had been pre-assembled and left under a heat lamp for seemingly hours. The chili and cheese had fused together and dried into a tough laquered shell that encased its withered meat tube. The chili was salty and tasteless, without texture, moisture, or spice. We'll head back in a few days to give this one another chance, but this initial taste test isn't remotely promising.
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| No, They Do Not Look Like the They Do in the Picture. |
In the end, this is the strongest indictment against the BK Hot Dogs: they don't offer anything that you can't get at your local 7-11 or your average gas station convenience shop for less money. The 7-11 Big Bite is about the same price and gives you a much larger piece of meat, and many gas stations have hot dogs of similar size for about $1.50. And at these other places you have control over how much mustard, onion, cheese, ketchup and chili you want to add. Plus you can guarantee that these are all freshly applied. It's a pretty sad state of affairs when you can construct a better hot dog from components that are sitting around at a self-service bar in a gas station than you can from a dedicated restaurant with a kitchen staff.
Verdict:
BK Hot Dogs are an overhyped, overpriced, poorly executed debacle, a missed opportunity in a myriad of ways.
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