Thursday, March 31, 2016

Orchards Skittles - An Eclectic Gallery of Tastes

The Thrill of Beginning Again
For fans of bubble gum and fruit chews like Starburst and Skittles, few things are more exciting than the unveiling of new flavors.  We don't have this option with chocolate and caramel candies, generally speaking.  Nobody's releasing Tropical Punch Mr. Goodbars anytime soon and I doubt we'd want them to.  By contrast, the chewy-fruity candy category is an almost endless canvass upon which our leading industrial food chemists can apply their sorcerous palettes. So even though early spring is not the time I would expect to see orchard fruits emulated, I was excited to see Orchards Skittles in its pine-green bag, beckoning from its perch on the 7-11 shelf, promising tastes of the outdoors; grassy, pollen-tinged, kissed by powdery bloom.
How would orchard fruits be different? I was hoping for hints of apple skin and peach fuzz, a more organic and less processed flavor profile. I note with some irritation that, increasingly only the "Share Size" is available.
Flavor Shenanigans
After the post-purchase excitement wore off and I set to examining the package, there was one immediate disappointment: the dreaded flavor repeat.  One of the "new" flavors in Orchards Skittles is Orange, but that's also one of the flavors in the original Skittles assortment.  So is this really a new batch of flavors or just a recombination of old ones?  Red Apple does seem to be a new offering, but one has to ask whether it's identical to Green Apple from original Skittles but with a different coloring. For a moment, I even wondered whether Cherry wasn't also a repeat, but thankfully the red candy from original Skittles is Strawberry, so we only appear to have one truly recycled flavor.  And I still held out hope that "Orchard Orange" might somehow be subtly different from Original Orange.  But, of course, the inclusion of Orange in the Orchards assortment raised another question: don't oranges come from groves, not orchards?
Hey, wait just a second! The "new" Orchards Skittles (right) appear to be repeating the flavor Orange from Original Skittles (left).  Also, will Red Apple really taste any different from Green Apple?
The Difference Between Orchards and Groves
Another obvious objection to the inclusion of two citrus flavors, Orange and Lime, in this Orchards collection is that neither fruit really comes from an orchard (right?).  After all, we always speak of citrus groves, don't we?  Actually, while "citrus groves" is clearly more euphonious than "citrus orchards", oranges and limes can actually come from either one, for the difference between the two is rather subtle.  A grove is a cluster of fruit or nut trees that can occur naturally in the wild or as a result of human planting and they may or may not be surrounded with other kinds of vegetation.  An orchard exclusively refers to a purpose-planted collection of fruit or nut trees, created for the express purpose of harvesting.  So most of the citrus fruits we eat, romance aside, comes from orchards, not groves. With that out of the way, let's find out how these candies actually taste!
Serving Suggestion.  Pictured, left to right: Peach, Orange, Lime, Cherry, Red Apple
Reviewing the Individual Flavors

Peach - This was initially the most disappointing flavor because it almost completely fails to deliver the juicy burst of flavor that you get from a fresh peach, never mind any hint of the taste from the skins.   But once you accept the mildness, you start to notice creamy flavors.  If you were to rename this Peach Ice Cream or Peach Yogurt, it would be a perfect success.

Orange - Continuing the trend of the flavors being shockingly unrealistic given the current state of technology, this orange candy does little to remind you of a real orange.  Your mind won't wander back to halftimes of youth soccer games and those enormous clear garbage bags full of fresh orange wedges (did anybody else experience those?)  However, these do remind you of orange soda, or maybe even more than that, those orange lollipops they hand out to the kids in bank lobbies. By the way, if there's any difference between the original Orange Skittle and this one, it's too subtle for me to notice.

Lime - Once more, we get the classic artificial lime flavor, a remote cousin to the flavor of actual limes, though it does bear a striking resemblance to the flavor of Rose's Lime Juice.  Chew on one of these, then take a swig of vodka from your freezer, and you'll have a decent gimlet.

Cherry - This represents the most interesting "failure" of them all.  The dark color seems to promise a black cherry taste, and the very first bite seems to deliver that.  But after a few seconds the flavor begins to morph, first to that of a classic cherry Lifesaver and then, bizarrely, to the taste of a Maraschino Cherry, right down to the taste of the stem and the formaldehyde syrup. Fascinating.

Red Apple - Finally, the first flavor that seems to deliver on its promise.  This one has a classic Red Delicious apple flavor. You almost taste the last remnants of juice bleeding from the seed-revealing core.  Because it is, after all, a candy, it almost tastes as though you're eating a candy apple, but a real one all the same.
While the "Orchard Orange" (right) tastes exactly like the Original Orange Skittle, the Red Apple Skittle (right) with its ripe Red Delicious taste, is substantially different from the Original Green Apple, with its tarter, thick-skinned flavor.
Conclusions
Orchard Skittles raise a lot of questions and they're often perplexing and frustrating, but they're also always interesting.  If you're tired of the same old Skittles varieties, this will keep your taste buds entertained through several bags full of happy chewing.

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